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Is anyone of you practicing non-violent communication?

:boost_ok:

Please boost. 🙂

For those who don't know what I'm talking about. It's non-violent communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg. Here are some links:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviole

youtu.be/l7TONauJGfc

@andre I’m missing an option like "I’m trying to". Like, I feel like I fail too often to really answer "yes", but "no" feels even less fitting

@trisschen That's great.

The reason I wrote this toot is that I failed utterly in a communication and would like to improve.
Basically, I'm looking for help in applying NVC.

@andre
You might want to check this website: knotenloesen.de This ist a lot about "correct" use of words in nvc.

@andre it's a tool to me. If it's appropriate, I use it. If not, I don't.

@Kiki That's interesting. When would you consider it to be appropriate, and when not?

@andre It is good to verbalize criticism in interpersonal relationships where tension is an issue, such as between coworkers or in a romantic relationship. It is not good (likely impossible) to challenge relations of power.

For a more elaborate look at NVC criticism, I recommend this blog post: collectivelyfree.org/nonviolen

@Kiki @andre This. I feel like it's great for reducing conflict within a group (without many situations of power), but for external communication it certainly isn't always a good way.

And as the examples in that article show, in some situations it even can be very bad to just plainly apply it without thinking about it.

@Kiki @andre After reading the article realsocialskills.org/2014/07/1 that's linked there, I think my POV is that NVC is a tool for helping myself to phrase my position in a respectful way in which it's easier for the other person to listen to it if they want to. Imo it doesn't require certain ways to act by the other person, and of course it can just not work out.

So maybe what I’m doing (or am trying to) isn't "proper" NVC, but surely borrowing some of its ideas

@andre

All communication is violent to someone eventually since violence can only be judged on the receiving end.

So, while I try to communicate nonviolent within my parameters I cannot assume my communication to be nonviolent towards anyone else.

Also, there is a time and place for violence.

@Vyen I haven't thought much about a definition of violence until now. 🤔

Could you give an example where people disagree about it?

@andre

Like, I might find it violent when someone doesn’t stop talking after they made their point or repeat themselves because it literally hurts me to a degree where I just want to scream.

Neurotypicals usually would disagree they communicate violently and call it smalltalk.

@Vyen
If it "hurts" you why dont you interupt the other person telling him/her you are no longer able to follow? Maybe it has more sth to do with you than with the other person. You might have internalized that its not polite to interupt others.
@andre

@dominik @andre

Did I ask you for your ableistic piece of an ‚opinion‘?

Are you seriously trying to mansplain autism to me right now?

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