Imagine living right when metaphor was getting big, and you could just call a king a lying, stealing rapist to his face and the king would be like "truly I DESPISE this deceitful badger taking the she-goat's milk and planting his wheat in the garden though the gardener did not permit it, but why dost thou tell me such a distasteful tale?"

and to be clear, atheists are included in this "we"

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Founders of the US were like "Let's try this out, we can always improve it later", and we're like "God desires a first-pass-the-post popular vote which encourages a two-party system and strategic voting that is then invalidated by an electoral college"

I'm a little offended that my music streaming service has the gall to shuffle one of my own playlists and present it to me as a "we found these songs you might like" playlist

If you're American, then today is the day
to throw your garbage atop one of the dumpster fires that keeps our shining city on a hill alight.

Yeah we should do more studies but I feel like there's a better argument for wearing a mask when in public than there is for wearing pants.

blog.samuelmaddock.com/posts/g - 2 apr 2019

Widevine ghosts opensource project trying to gain DRM playback support. May they improve or be blighted with piracy.

Since bat wings are just skin stretched between elongated finger bones, bats fly through the power of jazz hands.

This 👏 is 👏 what 👏 happens 👏 if 👏 you 👏 don't 👏 keep 👏 your 👏 bleach 👏 injections 👏 up 👏 to 👏 date

I don't know where the contract is that I apparently signed which said now that I have a phone I must look at and respond to messages at any time of day.

I hereby declare the last Saturday of every month "Saturday"

WiFi's Christian name is "Wireless Fireless"

reading rfc3339 on timestamps and was given this little gem:

Standard time in the Netherlands was exactly 19 minutes and 32.13 seconds ahead of UTC by law from 1909-05-01 through 1937-06-30.

offhour tz's are exceptional now, and it's so strange thinking how noon used to be whenever the sun was highest wherever you were at.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UTC%2B00

the actor who plays homelander really manages to make every act of drinking milk uniquely grotesque and menacing

"You're talking to yourself again"
—me, this morning, to myself

at the hanging of a beloved bard, the executioner tries to placate the crowd by asking if they have any requests:

FREE BARD

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